Myth #1: “Getting a divorce means we’ll have to fight it out in court.”

The Myth

Many people assume that divorce automatically leads to a bitter, expensive court battle. This fear alone stops some from taking steps to protect themselves or even exploring their legal rights.

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The Truth

Most separating couples in Ontario never go to court. Modern family law encourages spouses to resolve matters privately and cooperatively through Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). In fact, the Divorce Act requires parties to try an out-of-court resolution first, whenever appropriate.

You have several out-of-court pathways:

• ‍Negotiation – You and your lawyer work directly with the other side to find a settlement.
• Mediation – A neutral mediator helps both sides reach an agreement.
• Mediation-Arbitration – If mediation fails, the mediator becomes an arbitrator and makes binding decisions.
• Collaborative Family Law – Both spouses and their collaboratively trained lawyers commit to settling without going to court.

These methods are often faster, more private, less adversarial, and more cost-effective.

Many couples successfully resolve every issue, parenting, support, finances, property, through ADR, leading to a formal separation agreement without ever stepping inside a courtroom.

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Myth #2: “My spouse cheated, so I’ll get a bigger settlement.”

The Myth

People often believe infidelity or other bad behaviour entitles the “innocent” spouse to more money, more support, or a greater share of property.

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The Truth

Ontario’s family law system is no-fault when it comes to financial issues.

While adultery is a legal ground for divorce, it almost never affects:

• property division
• equalization
• child support
• spousal support

The Divorce Act specifically prohibits courts from considering misconduct when making a spousal support order. Only in extremely rare circumstances, where behaviour is “so unconscionable as to constitute an obvious and gross repudiation of the relationship”, may conduct play a role. Typical adultery does not meet this threshold.

Courts focus on financial fairness and economic impact, not moral judgment.

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Myth #3: “We have to fight for ‘custody’ and ‘access.’”

The Myth

The old terms “custody” and “access” still appear in everyday conversation, often giving the impression of a winner-take-all parenting battle.

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The Truth

These terms were eliminated from Canadian family law on March 1, 2021.

The modern terms reflect a more child-focused and cooperative approach:

• ‍Decision-Making Responsibility – Who makes major decisions about the child’s health, education, and well-being.
• ‍Parenting Time – When the child is in each parent’s care.

These changes were made to reduce conflict and help parents focus on responsibilities rather than “winning” or “losing.” Courts now emphasize the best interests of the child, including stability, safety, and meaningful relationships with both parents.

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Myth #4: “When a married couple divorces, all property is split 50/50.”

The Myth

A common assumption is that every asset is pooled together and divided perfectly equally.

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The Truth

Ontario does not divide property 50/50.

Instead, it uses a structured formula called equalization of net family property.

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Here’s how equalization works:

Step 1: Calculate Each Spouse’s Net Family Property (NFP)

NFP = (Assets on separation date − Debts on separation date) − (Assets on marriage date − Debts on marriage date)

Important: You cannot deduct the value of a matrimonial home owned at the date of marriage. The full value is shared.

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Step 2: Compare and Equalize

The spouse with the higher NFP pays the other spouse half of the difference. This equalizes the financial growth during the marriage.

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Step 3: Consider Excluded Property

Some assets are excluded, such as:

• inheritances during the marriage
• certain gifts
• personal injury damages

This demonstrates that equalization is not a simple 50/50 split but a thoughtful calculation designed to share only the wealth accumulated during the marriage.

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Myth #5: “Common-law couples have the same property rights as married couples.”

The Myth

One of the biggest misunderstandings is the belief that living together for a certain amount of time automatically grants property rights similar to marriage.

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The Truth

This is false.

In Ontario, common-law couples do not have the same property rights as married spouses.

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Equalization applies only to married spouses.

For common-law couples:

• Property generally belongs to whoever’s name is on title.
• Joint assets belong jointly.
• There is no automatic right to share in the increase of the other person’s net worth.

A common-law partner who wants to claim a share of property titled only in the other partner’s name must make a complicated claim, often through unjust enrichment or joint family venture, which requires proving contributions and lack of compensation.

These cases can be expensive, fact-driven, and uncertain.

This is why legal advice and proper cohabitation agreements are crucial for common-law partners.

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Conclusion: The Truth Helps You Make Better Decisions

Myths about divorce can create fear, lead to poor decisions, and add unnecessary conflict during an already difficult time. Understanding the reality behind these misconceptions is the first step toward navigating your separation with clarity and confidence.

While this article offers general guidance, every family’s situation is unique. Speaking with a family lawyer ensures you understand your specific rights, obligations, and options.