1. Decision-Making Responsibility: Who Makes the Big Calls?

As of March 1, 2021, following significant changes to both federal and provincial family law legislation, the term "custody" has been replaced with "decision-making responsibility." This change in terminology reflects a shift in focus from parental rights to parental responsibilities. This responsibility specifically covers major decisions about a child's life, including:

• Health: such as medical treatments or choosing a primary physician.
• Education: including school selection and educational programs.
• Religious and Spiritual Upbringing: relating to religious instruction and participation.

‍

Decision-making responsibility can be structured in two primary ways:

• Sole Decision-Making: One parent has the authority to make these major decisions independently.
• Joint Decision-Making: Both parents must make these major decisions together. They have an equal say and must come to an agreement.

‍

A key consideration for your lawyer will be assessing your and your co-parent's ability to communicate. Be honest in this assessment; choosing joint decision-making for aspirational reasons can lead to deadlock on crucial issues like medical care, requiring you to return to court.

‍

It is important to understand that the allocation of decision-making responsibility is not necessarily tied to the child's residential schedule. A child may live primarily with one parent, while both parents share joint decision-making. However, joint decision-making requires a level of cooperation that may not be possible in high-conflict relationships. In cases involving a history of family violence, sole decision-making responsibility is not only the safest arrangement but is also the outcome that is most often sought from the court to protect the child and the victimized parent.

‍

2. Parenting Time: Crafting a Consistent Schedule

Just as "custody" was updated, the term "access" has been replaced with "parenting time." This term refers to the time a child spends in the care of each parent.

‍

The core of any parenting plan is a detailed residential schedule that clearly outlines when the child will be with each parent. This schedule is the foundation of the child's new routine and provides the predictability they need. Parenting arrangements can vary tremendously, from schedules where children divide their time equally between two homes to arrangements where they have a primary residence with one parent and spend specific, defined time with the other.

To prevent future disagreements and confusion, the schedule must be comprehensive. It should detail:

• The regular weekly or bi-weekly schedule.
• A clear plan for holidays (e.g., winter break, March break, statutory holidays).
• Arrangements for summer vacations.
• How special occasions like birthdays and Mother's/Father's Day will be handled.

‍

Establishing a workable routine early on is crucial. The existing care arrangement, often called the "status quo," carries significant weight for a judge when making temporary court orders. This is why it's critical to think carefully about the initial parenting arrangements. A temporary, informal schedule can quickly become the court's baseline for what is in the child's best interests, making it more difficult to change later.

‍

3. Communication Protocols: Protecting Your Children from Conflict

The federal Divorce Act now includes a specific duty for parties to a proceeding to protect their children from conflict arising from their separation and legal matters. Fulfilling this legal duty is not an abstract goal; it is achieved through the day-to-day discipline of using communication tools.

‍

A parenting plan should include clear guidelines for how parents will communicate with each other about the children. Establishing these protocols proactively helps keep discussions focused and respectful, preventing children from being caught in the middle. The plan can specify:

• Method of Communication: Many parents find it helpful to use a dedicated email address or a co-parenting app to keep all child-related communication organized and separate from other discussions.
• Tone and Content: The plan can state that all communication will be respectful, business-like, and strictly about the children's needs and schedules.

‍

Furthermore, the principles of good communication are a cornerstone of non-adversarial approaches like collaborative family law, where parents formally commit to keeping their children out of the conflict from the outset.

‍

4. Major Decisions and Moves: Planning for Life's Big Events

A comprehensive parenting plan does more than just outline the day-to-day; it anticipates future decisions to avoid later conflict. This includes establishing a process for making joint decisions down the road, such as choosing a new school or enrolling a child in a significant extracurricular activity.

‍

One of the most significant changes a family can face is relocation. Both the Divorce Act and Ontario's Children’s Law Reform Act now have clear rules about this. A parent planning to move must provide formal notice to the other parent, which includes details of the proposed move and a proposal for how the parenting arrangement will work afterward. Including rules around travel—both for short-term vacations and potential long-term relocation—in your parenting plan is a proactive step that can prevent stressful and costly court proceedings in the future.

‍

‍5. Conflict Resolution: Agreeing on How to Disagree

Even with the most detailed parenting plan, disagreements can arise. A strong plan acknowledges this reality by including a clause that outlines the specific process you will both follow to resolve future disputes without resorting to court.

‍

This aligns with a key change in the Divorce Act, which now requires parties to try a family dispute resolution process, where appropriate, before turning to litigation. Your parenting plan can specify which process you will use. Options include retaining a mediator or engaging a parenting coordinator. While a mediator facilitates your discussion to help you reach a mutual agreement, a Parenting Coordinator (PC) can play a more active role. A PC can mediate disputes about the interpretation of your plan, but if you cannot agree, they have the authority to make a binding decision, preventing a return to court for minor disagreements.

‍

Conclusion: A Child-Focused Path Forward

Creating a detailed, child-focused parenting plan is an investment in a more stable, predictable, and less conflict-ridden future for your entire family. It provides the structure children need and empowers parents with a clear set of guidelines, allowing you to focus on what matters most: raising healthy and happy children.

‍

Creating a comprehensive parenting plan requires careful thought and legal expertise. To ensure your plan is tailored to your family’s unique needs and protects your children's best interests, it is essential to seek guidance from an experienced family lawyer in your jurisdiction.

‍

What is the single most important value you want your co-parenting relationship to model for your children?